December 2010
78 posts
November 2010
56 posts
3 tags
it's a long life, better pinch yourself, get your...
i have so many worries that when i stop to think about them and examine them, they swarm up and over my head, stomping my will into nothingness, a spattered stain on the earth. how to defeat anxiety, fear, self-consciousness, to keep the cares from swelling up and tugging my head down by my hair to lose air under the surface of cold water?
accomplishing goals. productivity, but also kindness and...
daaaaaaaamn, i like this track.
woodendreams:
...
bartender lessons, ongoing
i learned a lesson last night: do not serve pity beers, especially to dudes who cannot stop telling you how good you smell.
Watchthis mix is about two years old but i keep listening to it every time nights lengthen and snow falls. something about it holds true to the bleak, stark beauty of winter. some of my favorite songs are in here. enjoy, if you care to!
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winter, what we never knew after all.
mockery upsets me perhaps more than it should, when coming from a place of former intimacy. taunting barbs designed to sting hurt me by their very nature, as i just don’t understand the choice of cruelty over communication.
i judged poorly, and let someone humiliate me, and continue to do so in other ways. a complicated situation. it’s baffling to me that someone who so very...
4 tags
the winter beer report →
there are so many magnificent local breweries making amazing winter beers. dark beer, my love, you weaken me, but i shall be strong.
r&b - whom i love - are teaming up with one of my employers salt spring coffee to make an espresso winter ale!
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Watchmy late fall, striding-the-main-strip, put-a-smile-on-your-face mix is on 8tracks. i like it and i hope you enjoy it.
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boom, crash, bang.
i’ve been working on damming flows of thought in my brain, changing where the river beds lie. i’ve grown into uncomfortably unhealthy patterns of thought over the years and i want to work on that. it’s heartening that this is possible.
i made some decisions this week regarding my personal life that’ll likely have little impact on anyone but myself, but i feel really good...
Watchyesyesyes
dazed minds and meandering eyes in a dimly-lit...
tonight i took myself out on a date to see loscil and tim hecker perform at the western front. i’m pretty crazy about downtempo electronica, ambient music, and/or drone… whatever kind of genre-defining terms you want to use for that sort of experimental music. it was beautiful and i enjoyed going alone, smoking a joint outside and chilling with my knitting while waiting for the show to...
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i have missed the abandon
of heavy bass shivering against my skin.
“Lost in the forest, I broke off a dark twig
and lifted its whisper to my...”
– lost in the forest by pablo neruda.
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when the ghost of sunshine paints mountains and...
i’ve been writing and accomplishing so much.
my current state of mind is akin to the fresh musk of newly turned earth. my seemingly life-changing catharses haven’t been discoveries of anything that wasn’t there before, but a revealing. i’ve learned abuse is still wrong when directing it to yourself. so many things that seem obvious, the difference between knowing...
a thought
if i don’t need a raincoat this morning, your fucking dog definitely doesn’t need one.
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the way one feels can be likened to an opening, or...
of all the good decisions i have been making lately, staying up alone and watching the first episode of the walking dead while sketching out my next painting was not one of them. badass and shutthefuckup-scary.
i have been thrilled by a number of small pleasures this morning, and it’s only noon! running through a drift of giant yellow maple leaves; kicking over a dead, papery hornet’s...
3 tags
you can call my number.
the daytrotter sessions, which are small, live, in-house sets of popular bands available for free on their website, are something i’ve been listening to a LOT of lately. my three favorites at the moment: mountain man, caribou, and sunset rubdown.
mountain man is incredible, one of my favorite new bands of all time. they’re three women who make bare, beautiful, mostly a capella...
“Be good to yourself, and remember that the most important part of love is not...”
– the ethical slut by dossie easton and janet w. hardy
oh, oh my dear.
the rain talks too vehemently with my roof, but i
do not mind.
i’m not interested in any other conversation.
it gave me an unexpected thrill today to find
someone else’s belongings
overlooked in my bed.
equally delightful, the realization
that at the witching hour where saturday and sunday kiss,
the most prime of party time real estate,
i am picking bright snippets of yarn,
...
shivers
i am beginning
trying things that scare me
and challenge my abilities.
the last time i played in public
was to impress a man.
tonight i will play and sing
(i have never trusted my voice alone before)
a song by someone else i transcribed for flute,
i will go next week to mea culpa and attempt studentry,
i will practice being alone, alone, alone,
and i will write a piece for the third...
“body of a woman, white hills, white thighs,
when you surrender, you stretch out...”
– pablo neruda (via butigaveyouall) 